The 10 best conspiracy theories we want to see in 2023

Ever since you unsubscribed from that beer discovery box, have you had the impression that shady guys are following you down the street and watching your every move? I also. I’m into conspiracy theories and I’ll tell you right now, 2023 promises some hilarious new things like these 2022 conspiracy theories that are so scary in this area.

We made Argentina win the World Cup on purpose because it is a country of aliens

Anyway, if it’s not aliens, we need to be told how good football Lionel Messi is, it’s not human. Coincidentally, most of the country’s families have been living there since 1946, so either they are aliens or people from another country who had to hide after WWII, but I don’t know who. That’s how we beat them because if they feel offended, they can kick our ass with their advanced weaponry.

The fourth dose of vaccination is to ensure that we buy a dishwasher outside the sales period

IT IS POSSIBLE that right after the sales you will see, you will see the next dose of the mandatory vaccine coming out in all the good labs. Coincidentally we’ll still go out to Darty or Fnac with an irresistible urge to buy a useless appliance, since the third dose I’ve had two fridges and three washing machines.

Gyms spray chemicals during our workouts to test drugs

Have you ever found yourself feeling tired, sweaty and a little sore in the ass when you leave the gym? It’s normal, it’s sprayed by facilities during our sessions to check for side effects of the drugs, and that’s why people who go there often are very stupid and only talk about it. Stay away from these places.

Investigations trying to sink TikTok as a place for fake news are being funded by Facebook.

A study recently came out to convince us that young people are prone to conspiracy theories because of TikTok, but don’t you find it a little strange that so many scientists have come together to say that the social network is Wrong? Rather, this is still a conspiracy theory, because in fact these scientists are paid by Facebook, which no longer interests young people to undermine its reputation.

The beans in galettes des rois are actually GPS beacons to know where you are

Do you see any other explanation for this completely stupid thing about putting a porcelain object in a pie? No, no, they’ll tell us it’s just a silly tradition, but we’re not fooled, it’s just another government coup to fatten up the bakers’ lobby, sitting smart at home.

The government wants to prevent us from heating our apartments to drown out Netflix (in favor of Salto)

You know the French platform somersault ? No, it was normal. But with the platform not doing much, it teamed up with the French government for a messy plan: to force people to stop heating their homes in the winter so they don’t watch at home. netflix. People will suddenly unsubscribe because they’ll stay at the bar more often, and they’ll see it when they want to subscribe again. somersault it is cheaper. It’s obviously a dirty method, but it’s the government we’re used to.

Avatar 2 is actually a big ad made by the pool lobby

The movie has a lot of blue men going underwater and doing stupid things (I haven’t seen it yet but I’ve seen the trailer so I think it’s enough). What exactly can you do in the pool, and besides, I’m sure that after watching the movie you have an irresistible urge to go swimming, that’s normal, this is advertising from the lobby of municipal pools and willing pool owners. to sell you indoor pools and automatic landing nets.

Man did not walk on the moon, because there is no moon, it is a pond

Scientists (real ones, not government workers) say it’s called a celestial pond, a body of water that floats in the air and reflects light, and prints this patterned round shape. So since the moon didn’t exist well no one could walk on it, the US lied to sell air conditioners. Classic.

Mbappé deliberately missed the World Cup to topple Noël le Graet

If the French had won, everyone would have celebrated and no one would have bothered, so Mbappe lost on purpose so that Noël le Graet would have gone mad and we finally got rid of him. As Le Canard enchainé headlines, Christmas will fall in January this year.

The Fiat Multipla is a ploy by the greens to stop us buying cars

At the same time, the car is so ugly that it distracts passers-by and causes so many fatal accidents that there is really no other logical reason behind its creation.